Recently a friend sent me an article from the New York Times entitled, When Do You Know Your Work Is Done Here On Earth? The title is provocative because it reminds me of a recurring dream I’ve been having and had just had, once again, the night before. In this dream I am either at school or at a job and I have not done the work required. If I am at school the whole year has gone by and I have not done any of the assignments. If I am at a job I am showing up but not actually doing my work . I wrote back to my friend to tell her how the article overlayed with this dream I keep having and she wished me well in finding the meaning. I turned this wish into a prayer. As the holiday unwound and I had some free days I actively asked to be shown the meaning of this dream. In addition, I have spent many hours reading a new Pathwork book just published by Liam Quirk. The Book, Being and Becoming, Five Essential Pathwork Lessons, (Pathwork Press) is the book that has been so needed to distill the Pathwork into meaningful, relatable liturgy. I say liturgy because I am carrying the book around with me everywhere like a bible. Liam was a student of mine and as I read the book I vacillate between feeling the pride of a parent and the awe of his mastery.
Liam weaves so artfully the essential message of the Pathwork Guide that we are already perfect as we are AND we must attend to our distortions and negativities to get back to that state of perfection. Early on in Lesson One he asks us two questions: what is the truth and what can I learn? I ask these questions again of my dreams and I have another dream on New Years Eve. In this dream I am with friends who in real life have recently disappointed me. We are eating dinner and I am feeling unseen and uncared for and a lack of attunement. I wake up at 5:45. I lay in bed and recount all the actual disappointment that the dream left me feeling. My mind spins from one disappointing relationship to another. I cuddle with my husband who is sound asleep and rather than feel the pleasure of our comfy warm bed and his embrace I am off in a negative, even rageful rant that I seem to have no control over. Finally I get up just before 7:00, get dressed and go out to the beach to watch the sun rise. It is a completely foggy day with no sun but somehow this is a great comfort to me. I walk in the fog realizing it is so dense I may not find my way home. The low moan of the fog horn and this dense mist matches my internal state. And it is a relief to lose myself in the ocean, in nature, in something bigger than myself….
